im a fool.

if you are a person that cannot stand vulgarities, you can click on the X button at the top right hand corner of your screen NOW.

okay i shall continue. todae was a lousy day for me. i juz felt so frustrated for the whole day.

wasnt exactly feeling very okay alr in the morning, cuz my throat damn pain. my head damn pain. but nvr mind, i still can take it.

fuck then recess came. what the hell. they reading some of the forms submitted by the cadets. then suddenly i heard one phrase: " your drills very zai meh? then why you cannot get 1st class?" WHAT THE FUCK? i dont care who said it lah.

here i am trying very hard to forget the whole shit. there they are trying to ensure that i dont forget. fine lah, basket im lousy can? im not fit to be DI lah. arghhh i shld have knew it long ago, this kind of thing will surely happen de.

if you think 1st class is no big deal, im telling you now that it meant a big deal to me.
if you think i have gotten over it, im juz putting a false front.
if you think i am not fit to be a DI, juz feedback to upstairs and strip me.
if you think its juz a small minor thing, you are so damn fucking wrong.

fine fine fine, no 1st class... im a lousy crap. happy? shiok?
after you are done being happy and shiok over the that fact, fuck off. seriously, juz fuck off.

- the feeling of being pushed to hell.