24hrs later

24hrs later,
its gonna be an ending of the 29th batch, officially.
i cant take it.
many people told me to juz learn to let go, but its not so easy, especially if you are damn bonded with your own squad. its really fast.

this is what gonna happen tmrw;
1) people change their attitudes towards you, cause you are not influential anymore
2) people stop calling you SIR, though i wish they will continue.
3) ccaless
4) my squad is gonna go different ways

i really hope the above are not true. i dont want it to happen. but i guess theres never a no-ending banquet.

i will miss you 31st batch
i will miss you my squad, 29th batch
i will miss you chsnpcc
for you are the people that shape the way i am todae.

- Once a SIR, Always a SIR

el oral tmrw.

lol short post here, tmrw is el oral, and i have done nothing to sort of like mug for it. so i tihnk im screwed. haha then todae was .22 shooting comps, shoot 144 and i nearly got disfigured, lol i muz complain.! =DDDDD

- no quotes for todae.

competitions

juz had bowling comp on monday. hehehe though i know alot of details, i will not reveal it, muz be more suspicious. but it was VERY VERY surprising, as in the results. haha =DD

then tmrw is shooting comp, last year i 30th. this year, i wanna own. i mean it. i will do my best, trust me. wish me good luck bah. =)

seriously, there is so many description of you:
1) childish
2) bastard
3) dont knw how to admit faults
4) coward
5) asshole
i cant believe im the one saying this lah, thinking of you makes my blood boil these days. you are juz trying to spoil our perfect ending. dont you think, you are a snobbish piece of crap, please, its your fault also. dont make it look as if, everytimes its the others fault. you juz dont knw how to say sorry isnt it?

POP is the last straw.

- people are afraid of losing what they get, they do not realize, that being afraid of losing makes them lose even more.

what a joke.

this is seriously a joke. or shall i say, i hope its a joke.

1 week from POP. this is what happened.
i really dont understand
i really dont understand
i really dont understand
i really dont understand
i really dont understand

please enlighten me. so this is the pleasant and dramatic ending we are asking for?

ytd. the gastric was miserable. but my mind was in a more miserable state. first time had gastric. puke out some greenish stuff. zzzz if all my suffering is enough for you to come back to us, im more than willing to do it. i stayed for 4 hrs when we could all be enjoying our last dinner together. and you freaking juz stone there. the 4 hrs of stay meant that i nvr eaten anything for 12 hours. its terrible.

but i can really see the bond that we have. i can see so many people caring for me ytd, worried abt my gastric lah... seriously, you all are the best people i would ever wish to have.

countdown to pop: 6 days

- this is more dramatic than any drama.

im a fool.

if you are a person that cannot stand vulgarities, you can click on the X button at the top right hand corner of your screen NOW.

okay i shall continue. todae was a lousy day for me. i juz felt so frustrated for the whole day.

wasnt exactly feeling very okay alr in the morning, cuz my throat damn pain. my head damn pain. but nvr mind, i still can take it.

fuck then recess came. what the hell. they reading some of the forms submitted by the cadets. then suddenly i heard one phrase: " your drills very zai meh? then why you cannot get 1st class?" WHAT THE FUCK? i dont care who said it lah.

here i am trying very hard to forget the whole shit. there they are trying to ensure that i dont forget. fine lah, basket im lousy can? im not fit to be DI lah. arghhh i shld have knew it long ago, this kind of thing will surely happen de.

if you think 1st class is no big deal, im telling you now that it meant a big deal to me.
if you think i have gotten over it, im juz putting a false front.
if you think i am not fit to be a DI, juz feedback to upstairs and strip me.
if you think its juz a small minor thing, you are so damn fucking wrong.

fine fine fine, no 1st class... im a lousy crap. happy? shiok?
after you are done being happy and shiok over the that fact, fuck off. seriously, juz fuck off.

- the feeling of being pushed to hell.

sorry for the lack of update.

heylo. gonna leave my 100th post for POP! =D

wootz and guess what, im down with fever. and im blogging! haha can see my passion for blogging rite? haha missed my .22 revolver trg becuz of this. lol

juz saw chsnpcc website. felt like a fool- when the hell did zhengqian get selected for the what overseas trip? what the? .... i bet none of the squadleaders know of this lah? maybe even the chairman also? crap utter disrespected, at least have the courtesy to inform us beforehand even if you dont want to discuss with us. yeah yeah maybe we are nothing afterall, right from the start.

highly anticipating the class between 28th batch and 29th batch.
here are the confirmed team:
1) Lim Jun Wei
2) Terence Lim
3) Clifton Tan
4) Benjamin Lee
5) Peh Ming Hao
6) Seah YiBin
7) Jason Quek
8) Wong Yong Jie

then the ken and leonard i also dont knw them haha lol. they are noncommital yet.

the tactics and formation will be revealed soon. it will be 7v7, with or without keeper included.

- give a man a fish; you have fed him for a day. teach a man to fish; you have fed him for a lifetime.

NO TITLE.

give up trying to name a title for each post le... haha cause really no ideas liao.

these few days were freaking pissed off at times and freaking happy at other times too!.... there is this guy from sec2 that is boiling me off... like damn irrcorrigible... why do we have to work so hard for someone that dont even care... i wasted my time trying to talk some senses into his head. all he knows is to give me empty promises like promising to bring his boots to me HIMSELF the next day... he never lah (obviously) lol. 'i deliberately want to skip it'... this was what that guy told me.. is like what the? freaking irresponsible; freaking disrespectful; bloody waste of my time. come on lah... we are doing this for you leh! if you dont want to change, we cant change... you shall juz remain like this forever. you think everybody will care so much like us?

okay then ytd played soccer like the whole day. was quite pleasing. scored 3 and set up 2 assists. got one time damn funny. i told yibin that i damn tired le... legs gonna cramp soon.. not gonna run for a while le... lol and guess what happen? hahaha terence pointed to a spot and ask me to run before crossing the ball to me... haha the worst part is.. lol i actually dribbled past 5 defenders.. haha not trying haolian or what.. i dont knw how i do it also.. hehe. i really think jasper tan jian ming is my curse lor. haha everytime played with him sure got something happened between he and i. lol ytd i dash past him then the next thing that happened was i got sliding tackled. it was such a awkward ankle that i nearly broke my leg. luckily nvr. juz landed painfully on my butt lol. haha dman pain now. zzz like the feeling of cramping everytime i walk.. lol

things really dont go 29th batch, isnt it?
1) 28th Batch POP rain..
2) 1st Muster Parade rain...
3) NPCC Day Parade rain....!
what the? seems like we have a great affinty with rain. =/

(okay this was what i wanted to type early in the morning at 5.30am until my mom came nagging at me to go to school)

kkay more abt today. somehow, todae was really a zombie day for me. i was brain dead for most of the lessons. struggling hard to pull my eyelids apart. it sucks, the feeling sucks.

yeah then after school had mock add maths paper 2 aka stoning session for me. its really gg. im a goner. i like 6 whole qns dont know how to do! fish! really sorry to mrs tan.... maybe i was really not paying enough attention during class. sorry. i need help in maths! =(((((

- what is the difference between a leader and a boss.?

meaning.

juz now was busy doing homework... while listening to my mp4. then realize in details that this song fits perfectly what we are thinking rite now... its like so real. okay the song is Graduation (friends forever) Song by Vitamin C... let me show you the lyrics, the bold and italic parts are the thoughts we are feeling.

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of the night in June
I Didn't know much of love, but it came too soon
And There was me and you, and then it got real blue
Stay at home talkin' on the telephone and
We would get so excited, we'd get so scared
Laughing at our selves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels

Chorus:
As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change, from whatever
We will still be, friends forever

So if we get the big jobs and we make the big money
When we look back now, will that joke still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels

Repeat chorus

La, la, la, la; yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la, we will still be friends forever

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there? Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

Repeat chorus x3

haiz.. feeling damn depressed now.

- often, people always get jealous of polar bears, becuz they can enjoy snow.. but they nvr realize that is the only thing polar bears have.

trg

heylo everyone<------ BRYAN TAN. lol i know it sounds like fishball head, but who cares xD

yeah so basically had trg yesterday, wanted to clear their doubts for uniform inspection... but it turned out to be less fruitful as i tot... cuz people were listening without copying anything, as if they have photographic memory. it left me, both pissed and freaking sad. maybe they are really signalling to me that its really time for me to go, im juz gonna be no shit to them. was really sad but i didnt show it. i put that smile on my face. cuz a leader shouldnt be emo, even if you are not treated like one. =) nvm.. 28 days more. what a joke am i becoming? maybe shitty crap is the word used to describe me now..... they are telling me they dont need me anymore.

as someone told me, i have been very less sadistic as compared to the time when i took them as IC. i didnt want sec2 life for the cadets to be hell. it shldnt be those sadistic trg that forces people to quit... thats not i want... but things are proving to me tt im failing my experiment.. sometimes you juz cannot be good. some times you juz cannot close one eye.. people often say, whats the point of picking on tiny little details? so i juz close my eyes, sometimes both eyes shut... i am willing to, if things get better, but things like forgetting to bring your uniform parts for nearly like 3 months is really unacceptable... keeping an eye close doesnt mean we are unaware.. =( but for god sake, who cares abt what the shit am i tlaking rite now, they are so oblivious.. they simply think its a joke, dont they?

- seemingly realizing, life is meaningless without you now

Haircheck.

monday was haircheck... and apparently i passed.... its not becuz of some bribery or what k? its purely becuz my hair is like damn freaking short. i dont understand whhy people are SO amazed by me passing lah, its damn normal can?i went to cut my hair then people say i nvr cut at all... sometimes you need a little tactic though, for example, how you face the teacher when you hair is checked xD

o.0 yeah, i will like to let out a warning:
DONT EVER MEDDLE WITH MY HAIR
cuz i get freaking pissed when people mess up my hair, its not becuz it doesnt look good, its abt the feeling that is so damn uncomfortable. =(

hmmm these days got banned from comp becuz of one stupid reason... zzz dont wish to say cuz its really retarded that you will laugh at me.. =/ lol yeah so rarely update these days.. unless i really got something special to say =D haha anyway tmrw is npcc day rehearsal.. yeah! have chance to execute drill cane drills so happy lor =) lol then the bryan go ask me polish up my........ erm yeah sensored lol.... like what for? haha nvm lah see my mood first xD

o.o yeah yesterday went some sc centre lol... they took away the mirror maze.. crap thats like the highlight of the whole centre lah! =( zzz then terence tried to act like a monkey by hanging on to a bar that was less than 1 metre high and got himself injured lol haha. then i tot that the fake tv screen could be adjusted, so i went to press the button... which was fake lol super retarded xD

zzz still have chinese compo to do... muz concetrate le bye! =D

- i wish i could say i like you