Great.

heylo everyone... <--- really retarded when i keep saying this phrase. lol anyway. yesterday was sports nite. and it nvr fail to make it rain so that we can go home early =D really wanted to see the race, cuz its our last year, but nvm. its juz too bad.

and somehow, yesterday i went to take yeomen. when i was supposed to slack in store. lol then let the sec3s come out and do pnco for a while. and the freaking A cadet came to piss me off AGAIN. freak. with his usual self of telling me what to do, or shall i say, doubting what i am doing? he said: sir, stop raining le, arent we supposed to go out and do yeoman? zzz for heaven's sake, if your are supposed to do yeoman, i will obviously get the instructions, what the hell. who is the nco here? told him that day after promo parade that he have to shut up, but somehow, he thinks i am singing or something? >.<"

one fine day, i am gonna explode, the time whereby elements of stress, pressure, frustrations and catalyst are all present--- trust me.

- push-ups or shut up

shit......

heylo everyone, im here to blog becuz im lame comp can be used! =.=" dotz, yeah my freaking comp suddenly can on... lol so i using now lor haha so happy.

anyway, i want to apologize to Mr DT. i let him down today. he waited for me, i was dman surprised at first, but the surprise was a pleasant one. zz then the CV meeting didnt start on time, lol becuz terence was doing his homework.. lol crap. but i shldnt have gone to play soccer. i tot he wont mind, but. haiz. sorry cliff.

gonna blog abt yesterday, cuz i wanted to, but my mood swing comp didnt want. lol was freaking pissed off yesterday during ORT-aka- optional recreational trg. there is this one guy that is making my blood boil. everytime i get the ball, he will say something like: junwei sir, fall down! fall down! erm =.=? at first, it was okay, i tot he would stop it after a few times, but fish it. he seems oblivious at me being annoyed by it. keep on rattling on.... zz wish i can go up and juz shout STFU in his ears. LOL BUT I KNW I CANT. >.<"

yeah, and i saw the sec2s play. quite the arrogant, but nvm maybe im too lousy le. lol people may say tt we were like that when we were sec2s also. tts nonsense, cuz we dont even dare to talk back and argue with the sirs in the very first place. but now, haiz, nvm dont say le... say also no bloody use.

left 2 months left in npcc le. and i realize what is my objective liao- to put an end in their attitude problems. and i also found a very good way- as coach carter said, give me attitude, i give you push-ups. you shall determine your own fate; push-ups or shutup. simple as that. i swear to god that i am not gonna let this attitude shit deteriorate anymore.

- when you are thinking about doing something, think about the consequences first and not the enjoyment that you will be getting.

Lame comp.

lol im back. haha this stupid comp that i am using is constantly giving me problems. like sometimes can on, sometimes cant? crap lah, still have to see its mood before i can use, illogical right? zzz

forget what to blog le... lol

mugging for prelim 2 shall start april end... muz enjoy until that day! sianz like one month left only.

- if you are happy with a tiny little tree, you will be elated to death when you see a forest.

Close call...?

hmm gonna talk abt these 2 days bah.

erm my chem teacher seriously has no time sense. she can juz freaking dismiss you late and without any signs of doing so, what the hell, what is the 5 mins walking time and resting time for? crap then in the end, lessons after lessons drag on. i really do not knw what is the point? crap. shall go feed back unit sometime bah... zzz>.<" thne she keep hijacking people's lessons. teachers nvr come, she will be the first to come up, she think she enthu, but we are feeling sianz? give us a break man!

then today had trg... shall talk about the optional rt part bah. i really agree with clifton, why not juz stay and cherish the time we hav with left with one another? you see yongjie, last time we play soccer, he nvr join or enthu de, now? he almost is the first one to be on when you want to find someone to play soccer with. thats the spirit! and you can see how much he has improved. lol yeah, today played soccer as usual cuz the freaking basketball court is down. zzz kkay today i can say i really become a team player, i pass the ball damn often and not go for beautiful tricks that are quite difficult. it feels really good if you can trust your teammates and even more assist them in build up play. really the enjoyment is greater, and not you solo and solo, and only you are the one enjoying the game, tts not fair to them at all. so yeah, today scored one i think and assist 2. the 2 assists are very similar, lol or i can say is identical. the same route, frm the right flank down before crossing the ball across goal round the defender, all the striker had to do is to slot the ball home =D lol it was a really nice game =DD

got to go, my mum nagging like some.... kkay bye

- nothing is unsolvable, its juz hard you try

Why doesnt people know how to self-reflect?

let me start with a random notice... for all 29th batch people... we are less than 3 months away from POP. its really very fast, its juz as we had juz taken over, and in a blink of an eye, we are poping really soon. haiz somehow or rather, i kind of feel sad, i really developed that kind of feeling alr. sianz but i knw still have some people among us that are gonna be so excited of pop, cuz they alr lost interest, or shall i say, enthuing about studies?

now back to the point, i think its really true about what i am mentioning on my above title. people simply doesnt self-reflect. kkay i am not targeting anybody but, you see... a very simple example- people don't promote to SSgt, then they suddenly turn emo and keep grumbling about why be enthu about npcc when i nvr promote? but think otherwise, you shld ask yourself, why you nvr promote in the first place. everything has a reason, its becuz of your own actions that you are losing that rank. with attitude comes rank, and not the other way round. everytime only think about like studies, and you still expect to get promoted? you have to ponder which one you want to sacrifice, since you have chosen one, stop grumbling about the other one. its the choice you made and there is no way back now. get on with life bah.

i also found out that tensions rise becuz people don't speak up what they hav in their minds. leading to 2 consequences- they bottle up their feelings and may juz blow off any time; the other party concerned continues to behave or be the way it is and nothing will be changed. thats a sad thing, buts its also the reality, not only juz in school im afraid.

haiz, feel sad ( not emo lol xD). crap crap, and my leg is giving me problems. my stupid left little toe, swollen like some... and its freaking painful. scared its some fracture, no! arghh i sitll want to play soccer de.

- it may be sad, but since its already reality, accept it and carry on with life.

Its Been a while...

heylo everyone, im here today to update my rotten blog...

today had CV recee lor, finally experienced what is called power struggle... cuz the people, especially the NCOs, juz freaking dont care about you. give an example: i remember clearly that i said that no psp was allowed in the bus or at any point of time... then what do i get? Two squadleaders playing psp at the back... what we said are juz crap lah, cuz they freaking dont care... kkay i am not saying all of them.. cuz some of the NCOs really put in the effort, i can really see. its like wth? during Hike Recee i also nvr play psp while cycling lah.. crap i knw its not your freaking problem, but its really..........

yeah then after that played soccer.. erm can say today i had been totally off-form. people pass the ball to me, the ball juz slipped thru.. zz then my style of game all cannot be carried out. worst still, my right leg tio whacked by xavier, lol if he was wearing studs shoes then my leg will be gone.. >.< haiz then i was thinking about what some of them said lah, they said im a soloist. erm kkay i agree sometimes i really am, cuz i see an opening there and sometimes i cannot see anyone within my range to pass to... sianz i dont want to be a soloist, i want to be a team player! then another thing, juz now during the game, they were discussing everytime i touch therm ball, that i am gonna lose the ball. thats very discouraging and disheartening, i knw i sometimes not really that zai, but dont need say until like this mah... even my own teammates dont trust me, what can i say? shall go and reflect bah.. am i really one?

that day yongjie zham my little toe.. now still damn pain and blue-black.. sianz walk also pain... zzz but i am gonna train my skills back.. i believe i can.

- what i need is heartfelt encouragement, and not fake applause

Psychological Barriers Everywhere..

hmmm let me talk about today 1st... erm went to pulua ubin today for some ATF/HRC course lah... erm early in the morning... there was only 14 people that came... erm >.< its damn freaking obvious that people pon lah... wad the? so what if we had already get gold... so what if its not our uopa anymore? zzz they had been overcome by psychological barriers lah.. though maybe one or two may be real...

haha on the way to the campsite... i kept spamming them with my idealogy lor... thats the main reason why they had been enlightened and are able to carry on with the activities... haiz, sianz i should be more humble xD haha basically had 5 main activites- ARC, PP, DD, T, FF. haha dont ask me what is that cuz i dont knw it myself xD but it was damn fun... the FF was damn thrilling.. only some parts of it scary only... like the part whereby we had to climb up the building that is like 10 storeys high?

lol then after lunch went to attempt the ARC.. which is some obstacles you had to go through that are in mid air... zzz i was like one of the first few people to went up.. then i became the last few to come down.. lol cuz i was overcome by my own psychological barrier.. haiz, what a lousy example im setting to my trainees LOL. yeah managed to complete the stupid ARC. nearly few off the rope due to the stupidity of my fellow rope man, leonard lim jing jie... who instead of helping me with the ladder (FOR RESCUE), he rammed the whole ladder onto the rope that i was walking on... =.="

overall rating is 3.5/5! yeah was generally fun except for the fact that we were all sunburnt.

now about yesterday. so it was muster parade. we were really lucky cuz the weather threatened at several occasions that it was gonna rain by allowing a few drops of water droplets to reach the earth... yeah but in the end, there weather was perfect! wootz, so did my job as 2nd PC lor, quite fun bah.. holding the drill cane is not as easy as it seems now =( but anyway, i was promoted to the rank of SSGT! really damn shuang... same old phrase- congratz to all that promote, jiayou to those that didnt.

then after that siming sir brief us about spf badge, the badge that will give you 5 CCA points... argh muz get it! haiz, then after that darius sir talked to me, i realized how 失败 i am as a Drill Instructor, cuz even an officer can make a remark like that: FYI, officers usually dont make comments.. zzzz >.< muz pia until i pop...

- banished into a place of complete darkness when i sense a glimmer of hope

MUSTER PARADE TMRW!

im nervous, really nervous about tmrw... cuz i want get a new rank that has three stripes and a crest on it.... im nervous becuz im the 2nd PC and i do not want to screw up everybody parade... im nervous becuz i dont want to stay as three stripes.

I WANT GET MY SSGT!
I WANT GET MY SSGT!
I WANT GET MY SSGT!
I WANT GET MY SSGT!
I WANT GET MY SSGT!
I WANT GET MY SSGT!
I WANT GET MY SSGT!

thats the only tot on my mind now... jiayou everyone!

- the higher you get, the harder your fall?

Hmmm

hmmm after pondering about what other people said...

i have come to a conclusion: it may not crumble just as yet... have a conversation with weesiong sir on msn one day... he told me that: once upon a time, batches of seniors always thought that the unit will crumble under the juniors hands... its juz like a cycle... being pass down continuously. so i shall not give up hope! last time, our seniors also think that the unit will die in our hands.. but i dont think the unit is dying in our hands.. so i now take back my words! i believe that as long as there is determination, nothing is impossible, as usual, its juz the psychological barrier making trouble..

after reading yiherng's blog... i really agree with one thing- somehow the zai ones lah, are quite de selfish.. all becuz they think they are zai, thats why the carry those colored spectacles when they look at others, if you think you are zai, help those around that are not, make them as zai or even more zai than you... by then you can call yourself zai.

- is it too late to apologize and start afresh?

The Past

i am sure many of you will agree with my paragraphs later...

yeah juz now basically slack throughout the whole afternoon cuz i dont feel like doing things xD was lying on the bed when i began to think about my sec2 life... hmmm those npcc days... when i like pon almost every trg; giving stupid reasons like muscleaches when i am perfectly fine. now i can understand how the sirs feel at that time, how frustrated they are by my absence... cuz it will lead to alot of problems. 2nd thing i thought of is the future of uniformed grps.. which i discussed with alot of other ugs: what is uniformed grps going to become in cat high? seeing the cadets nowadays, make me sianz... like to talk back; like to argue; like to protest so much... zzz if like this, what is the difference between cat high ugs and other lousy schools' ugs? and it really is disheartening to all the different sections leaders now.. cuz the sad reality in front of us is that uniformed groups that include ncc air, ncc land, npcc are gonna crash frm the reputation and standard that we behold now... i really dont want to accept this, but sometimes... things really made me feel this way.. so i can really understand Bryan of his mindset to become a CI.. arghhh i want to change this.. but it always needs two hands to clap.

- waving aimlessly in the air with one hand in an attempt to make a clap sound