heylo everyone... todae was a very fruitful but tiring day for me... today had emo talk with virtually the whole squad. it was really fruitful, cuz we juz blurted out what we are not happy abt. it was really emotional, with alot of people breaking down, i nearly broke too, but i somehow held back. hope this session really brings us back together as one, and not be break apart with 1 month left to go. we come as one, we leave as one... dont wish to elaborate abt the details of the talk, cuz its supposed to be private.
people's perception: a zai or legendary squad is about being tip-top in events you organize, for example, xity venture or whatever shit... but for me, the most impt thing a zai squad shld have, is squad unity... no matter how screwed our planning of events are, no matter how screwed are we in others minds, at least we will be able to brave thru anything. thats what we were all time trying to achieve, arent we? people may say we anti-social, but thats us, we do things together.
didnt add in alot of things, cuz i think the mood is not right anymore. i juz want to say that, its normal tt people suan.. it the same to me.. people always call me bugs bunny or sth... i juz simply laugh it off.. i dont want to take offence, i dont want to emo becuz of that, cuz it will hurt our friendships, in the first place, they didnt mean any harm on purpose. at first, i cant take it. but after these few years, i feel its nothing compared to the friendship we have, if everytime talk, also muz be very serious, then life will suck completely. i have learnt to see and take things openly le, i hope it applies to you also. juz look on the bright side of life and everything will be fine.
yeah then its abt the first class. potato said that first class means no shit, it cant give you a living. but i feel, as DI with the passion area being drills, it means a great deal. hearing him say tt, it hurts a great deal. i may appear to be fine on the surface, but in my heart, its a big hole leaking, and its not stopping. i need time. for a DI to get over this, it needs loads. in front of you all, i may appear to get over it le, but i can guarantee one thing, its not that easy, i juz don't want you'all to see me emoing over that. i dont want to spoil the mood... as i said, i juz cant emo in front of you'all. its juz not me, is it? my impression is cheerful and happy, and i will not change it.
haha you may not think that im not that kind of person tt think alot, but... when im alone, i tihnk a lot. i reflect, on my own actions. yeah and i meant what i said juz now, if god wants me to sacrifice my 1st class for our frendships, i will do so without hesitation.. lol but i guess i have no right to say these stuffs now, cuz i have not even manage to attain the badge.
sorry for my this super long and emo post... but this is the only way to write i feel now.
-the ending means the beginning of a new chapter.
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